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On Love and ObedienceApril 27, 2008 Sixth Sunday of Easter We talk about love a lot in church. Hardly a Sunday goes by when the word "love" isn’t uttered in some form or fashion. In principle that is a good thing. In a world obsessed with passion and sex, love sounds almost counter-cultural. Love, authentic love, an insistence on love, is perhaps what most distinguishes the church from any other institution or ideology. Yet, I fear that those of us who attend church regularly are so accustomed to hearing "love" invoked that we have rendered it meaningless. We talk about God's love for us, our love for God, our love for one another, but I’m not always sure what this means. I hear it regularly, I’m certain of that, but what I’m uncertain of is what it actually means. There is no doubt that many of us, if pressed, could provide a working definition of love. We would say something about being selfless, we might describe a feeling, we might even say something of a romantic nature if we’re talking about our partner. Maybe, someone would quote a scripture verse or two about love of God and love neighbor. In our gospel lesson today, Jesus attempts to give us a new way of thinking about love. The best way to know what someone believes about love is to watch them love. If you spend enough time around a couple you begin to understand something about the nature of their love, or lack thereof. Watch a mother or father with their child and you will have a sense of the quality of their love. If you spend enough time with two friends you will intuit whether love exists in their relationship or if their bond is about something else. Observing love, a critic might say, is a very limited way of determining the nature of love. After all, a couple may act differently around others than they do in private. That would only be appropriate. The critic might also claim that emotions aren’t always observable. We cannot determine what someone is feeling generally by observing them occasionally. Furthermore, some people learn how to fake it really well. I agree, but we all know that if we spend enough time around someone we can begin to determine something of the nature of their relationships and commitments. In other words, if you want to know what someone believes or values watch them love. For all the talk of love in church, one wonders about its impact on human relations. The divorce rate among regular church goers is at or higher than the national average. A significant percentage of violent crimes are committed by people who claim a faith connection. Statistics show that people often leave the church not because the worship is boring, or because they have some existential crisis of faith; rather, they most often leave because they have been hurt or disillusioned by individuals within the church. Visitors tend not to return to a church not because the sermon failed to inspire them, but because no one reached out to them, no one welcomed them. They didn’t see any evidence of love. "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." That's about as direct as Jesus gets. There's not a lot of interpretive wiggle room in that comment, nor is there much subtlety. Of all the things that Jesus said that were controversial or incendiary, this one is not likely to make a top ten list. Why is that? Why isn't this problematic for most modern people, especially given that we don't have a good track record of keeping his commandments? "Love your enemies." "Judge not lest you be judged." "If someone slaps your right cheek, let him slap your left also.” "Love your neighbor as yourself." “If someone asks you for your shirt, give them your coat as well." "Fear not!" “Love one another as I have loved you.” "Do not be anxious about anything." “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth…” "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." It's as simple as that, Jesus says. The point Jesus seems to be making is one that modern Christians often find a difficult pill to swallow. Jesus makes abundantly clear that there is a direct correlation between our love and our obedience; a direct correlation between what we profess and what we do. Or to put it more directly, if what we claim to love in here is not consistent with what we live out there, then we aren’t being honest with ourselves. We deceive ourselves. "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." In the very next chapter of John, Jesus stays with this theme. He says to his followers: “If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commandments and abide in his love. I have said these things to you so that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be complete. Perhaps the challenge for us in what Jesus said is that he does not recognize any other allegiances. He doesn’t allow for nuance and ambiguity. "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." And from where he sits this makes perfect sense, for he lived his life free of self-deception and in obedience to the loving commands of God. Throughout his public ministry, Jesus made countless overtures of obedient love: touching the unclean, forgiving a woman caught in adultery, reaching out to Gentiles, prostitutes, drunks, and lepers, giving women, children, the poor, and other marginalized people the dignity and respect they deserve as beloved children of God. All of these overtures of obedient love reached their climactic conclusion when he gave up his life for his friends on the cross. [1] In other words, if you want to know what Jesus believes, just watch him love. The greatest lesson I have learned about love, Christian love, is that, although I may never have to lay down my own life for my faith, I am called to lay down something of myself for love’s sake and in obedience to the One I claim to love above all things. This hasn’t been an easy lesson to learn, and if you were to observe me, or watch the way I love, you would know that I have a long way to go before love is perfected in me. Just ask my family and closest friends. To regularly give something of myself for the sake of those I love can at times feel like death because it goes against the grain of my own desires or preferences. Too often I find that it is precisely that, my own desires and preferences, which take precedent over obedient love. Furthermore, the real danger beyond my desires and preferences are the patterns and habits that I no longer see or care enough about; the ways in which I deceive myself and potentially others that are incommensurate with an obedient love of God. Perhaps it is because we are all so crafty and sophisticated in our self-deception that Jesus speaks to forthrightly: "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." Amy Carmichael, an Anglican missionary to India, has written persuasively about this. She too is interested in the practical reality of living obediently for Christ each and every day. This is her conclusion: “...if I belittle those who I am called to [love], pointing out their weak points in contrast with what I think are my virtues, then I know nothing of [Christ’s] love. “If my attitude be one of fear and not faith; if I am afraid to speak the truth, lest I lose affection, then I know nothing of [Christ’s] love… If I think only in terms of my work, my preferences, my opinions; if the burdens of others are not mine too and their joys mine, then I know nothing of [Christ’s] love... If I live to be loved more than to love, to be served more than to serve, then I know nothing of [Christ’s] love. “If I allow injustice to be perpetrated and say nothing; if I permit wars to be plotted and do nothing; if I see violence or the oppression of others as possible solutions to conflict, then I know nothing of [Christ’s] love. [2] Friends, obedience to Christ requires a death of sorts, but it is a death to all of that which diminishes us in the first place. If we really want to be good lovers then whatever inhibits love must die. If we want authentic relationship, then whatever restricts and diminishes the other must die. If we want a meaningful life, then our frivolous, insensitive, and shallow tendencies must die. There is a correlation between these things, just as there is a correlation between our love and our obedience to Christ. "If you love me, you will keep my commandments." We need to love in this manner, for it is in this love that we will find true life. The call to obedience isn’t about regulating morality, restricting desire, or exerting power; rather, it is the gift of new life because it orients us toward the One in who we find healing and wholeness. It is a gift to us because in calling us to obedience Jesus is giving us a different way of life in a violent, broken world, and he gifts us with a powerful way to witness to the presence of God in our midst. Obedience to Christ means we don’t have to live by the rules of revenge, or aggression, or war, or indifference. On the other side of our small deaths, is new life, a deeper, authentic life of love in Christ, the One in whom we live, and move, and have our being. These are words of love, friends; words that unleash to fullness and potential of new life: “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.”
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