A Dangerous Hair-Raising Word

November 18, 2007

Commitment Sunday
Isaiah 65:17-25; 2 Thessalonians 3:6-13; Luke 6:43-49
The Reverend Stephen P. Bauman

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A number of weeks ago, Kathryn Carroll, our Director of Programs for Children and Families, asked if I would lead a session for parents concerning the raising of children in New York. Well, actually, she told me I could name it anything I wanted. I agreed to the assignment, but then shrewdly asked Melissa if she would like to join me. Changing the verb “like” to “willing” did the trick, and unbeknownst to the participants, secretly modeled the spousal negotiating that often wins the day for parents.

We titled the little presentation “Notes on Raising Emotionally Healthy and Spiritually Alert Children.” We had a good conversation with a number of our parents. Once more I was reminded how crucially important it is for families to have supportive and nurturing environments – like a church family – to successfully negotiate the inevitable challenges in building healthy relationships all around.

We came up with about twenty different notes to stimulate conversation, but said there were four overarching themes that seemed most important to us. The first was a quote attributable to C.S. Lewis that I’ve shared with you on other occasions: “What you do screams so loud I can’t hear what you say;” in other words, whatever you say you think or believe, will always be trumped by your actions.

The second theme: Be thoughtfully intentional; as in, if you’re an effective teacher you spend a lot of time with lesson plans, if you’re a successful financier of one sort or another, you spend a lot of time with business plans, and so on. Even more than these, focused intentionality is required of loving, nurturing and enduring relationship.

The third theme: Do the harder thing – go the distance. Relationships that really matter require sweat and sacrifice, truth-telling and forgiveness, time and attention, humility and perseverance.

The fourth theme: Religious and spiritual matters should not be separated from routine life. Religious and spiritual matters should be completely routine, that is, fully integrated into regular life and not relegated to compartmentalized moments or people. If you manage to identify yourself as a follower of Christ on Sunday, the next six days of the week should be no different Well, as what often happens to me once I’ve gone and done a thing, I get to reflecting on it. And this week was no different as I set about my normal work. I kept returning to the list and thinking through the last several decades, making note of when I followed my own advice and when I didn’t. Mostly though, whether Melissa and I accumulated these bits of wisdom from mentoring, intuition or stumbling, I think they hold up pretty well.

And, as I turned my thoughts forward to this day, Commitment Sunday, it occurred to me that these four overarching themes applied to a far broader audience than parents alone. In fact, I couldn’t think of anyone for whom they didn’t apply: “What you do screams so loud I can’t hear what you say;” be thoughtfully intentional; do the harder thing – go the distance; and make religious and spiritual matters fully integrated into routine life.

Now, commitment is one of those dangerous, hair-raising words. I know it is for 20-somethings for sure. But so also for a fair share of 30, 40, 50 and 60-somethings as well – not to mention 70, 80, and 90-somethings – within a wide array of life arenas. With spouse, friends, work, children, parents, school, clubs, nation, environment, God, church. All these relationships have commitment dynamics at play, in a confused and shifting hierarchy, not to mention a host of other associations interlocking the human family together, and then in connection to all other living things and our very planet.

You know how this is: commitment is never a given. For instance, just because I happen to be a husband and a father doesn’t necessarily mean I will be especially committed to my spouse and children. Or just because I happen to be an American doesn’t mean I will follow its laws, pay my taxes and vote. Or just because I happen to say I believe in God doesn’t mean I’ll give God the time of day. No, commitment is volitional, it falls within the realm of human choice. It has emotional, mental, spiritual, even physical components, and on any given day in any given relationship we can waffle between rugged dedication and lazy indifference, if not active disregard.

For the things that matter most, of course, commitment is not a small issue, but a very important one. Commitment is hair-raising precisely because it touches a sensitive place within our character. We may want to do the better thing, the nobler thing, the right thing, the thing that will make the world a better place and our relationships redolent with love, care and compassion, but will we? How do we cover the distance from thinking a thing to doing a thing? I want love but will I be loving? I want badly to trust God, but will I engage the relationship? I want to be someone my friends, peers and co-workers can trust that I will do what I say, but can they? Really? I believe astonishing generosity is a great blessing for myself and others and reflects God’s action towards me, but will I be generous? And so on.

And this is where those four homely themes I referenced earlier come in: “What you do screams so loud I can’t hear what you say;” be thoughtfully intentional; do the harder thing – go the distance; make religious and spiritual matters fully integrated into routine life.

Actually, you can sense that commitment is fundamentally a spiritual matter. That is, it concerns the partnership between our volition and matters of transcending value; that’s why its impossible to finally compartmentalize our spiritual selves from the rest of life, even if we tried really hard to do that, and surely all of us do attempt to compartmentalize at least some of the time. Compartmentalizing is one of our biggest challenges with commitment.

You heard Jesus say earlier, “The good person out of the good treasure of the heart produces good.” [1] And I got to thinking: Are we committed to producing good? In my academic studies I’ve been examining how people wind up committing themselves to the common good. Some time ago I became aware how frequently that phrase, the common good, popped up in the media.

In philosophy, the common good has an ancient pedigree going all the way back to Aristotle. It has a compelling, charismatic ring. I’ve wanted to examine the interplay of various motivations that prompt certain people to accomplish extraordinary things out of a commitment to the common good. Something that becomes obvious right away is that most of these people identify the importance of their spiritual rootedness.

Jesus goes on to say, “Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I tell you? I will show you what someone is like who comes to me hears my words and acts on them. That one is like a man building a house, who dug deeply and laid the foundation on rock…” [2] The operative phrase there is, “someone who hears my words and acts on them.” And acts on them. Acting on his words indicates commitment. Prior to that, its only words. It’s the movement from thinking a thing to doing a thing.

So, today, we’re focused on that phrase – doing a thing. My four themes are all about doing something. That’s what occurred to me this week and why it made sense to share them. Until we act, the good that might be accomplished remains in a frozen state, inert, unrealized, unborn, only so many words.

I suppose it’s a small thing we ask of you today, during the singing of our final hymn, to come forward out of your pew and drop a card into a bowl. A small thing, even a bit odd. And before that, we’ve asked you to make marks on the card that indicate your active intention to do something. Something, hopefully, that causes you to stretch and expand your capacity for doing good and setting down for yourself a foundation that’s built on solid rock.

You can’t help but notice that quite a few people before you did something similar. This spiritual home exists as a result of others not thinking a thing, but doing a thing. You may not have thought of it like this, but we’re their children, we’re the heirs of this place in this corner of the city.

As a fitting transition, we’re now receiving new friends who are taking an action that sets their foundation on solid rock. As they come forward and respond, take the opportunity to be thoughtfully intentional yourselves. To do the harder thing – go the distance ourselves.

By the way, if you happen to be a visitor today I invite you to participate in our little parade at the end of the service by jotting your name and your home church on a prayer card that you’ll find behind the pledge cards. Of course, if you happen to pick up a pledge card we won’t refuse it… But here’s my commitment to you: if you place your prayer card in our basin, I will personally pray for you this week. I would be pleased to do this.

So now, let’s receive our new friends….

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1 Luke 6:45
2 Luke 6:46-48

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